Brain Dungeon

Oh, how silent I’ve been!

The last y’all heard, I was whining about our truck. Well, the truck got fixed and worked fine for a while. Got stuck again yesterday, but it didn’t stay stuck this time, so I am not sure what to think.

But…I decided to see what’s been going on in Google Analytics since my last post. And I got a good hearty laugh. It was amusing to me when I saw that Obama scary frightening Halloween actually brought someone to my blog. But the gut busting laughter came with dancing monkey basketballs brain.

WHAT THE HECK??? Dancing monkey basketballs brain. That is so incredibly nutzoid that I can’t even imagine what would have possessed someone to type that into Google. What’s worse is that there are over 1.2 MILLION search results for that!!! And…of ALL THINGS…I am search result NUMBER TWO. That is just freaking awesome!!!

So what has the last month held for me? Well, mostly work and Chiropractic care. I have been visiting my Chiropractor (also my wife’s uncle…so since my back cracker is my wife’s uncle, I affectionately refer to him as Uncle Cracker) on a regular basis trying to get some relief from my ever-persistent, never ending sciatic nerve pain and back spasms. The good news is I have been feeling a little better. I have actually had some good days in the past month (by good days I mean days where I didn’t necessarily feel like I was in pain all day long). The bad news is that there may not be much more relief than that for me.

You see, another MRI was ordered for me. Turns out my back is getting worse. I guess I am not as closely related to Superman as I’d like to think. All the bending, heavy lifting, and other stupid crap that I think I can somehow do without making my back worse (despite the fact that it DOES put me in excruciating pain) is actually making my back worse (DUH!). So I have to start being a whole lot more careful. Dr Uncle Cracker said I need to avoid lifting things that are over 25 lbs (the computers I order from Dell for our new stores are 25.04 lbs in shipping!!!) I need to avoid doing the things that cause me pain.

It is tough to do that. It’s hard to avoid doing things that cause you pain when just about everything you do causes you pain. It’s also frustrating to know that you SHOULD be able to do certain things (like help carry some heavy stuff), but you can’t because it causes you pain. Right now I am having to do some travelling for work, and it’s difficult because the road trips are hard on my back and so are the hotel beds. But…gotta do what I gotta do. I’m going to try to find some good lumbar support for the car and a good mattress topper of some kind for the hotel beds.

So anywho…I just thought I’d post a quick note to let y’all know how I’m doing. I know I’ve been pretty quiet lately, and it’s been mostly because I’ve been so busy during work that when I get home, I just want to veg out. I haven’t had much motivation to blog lately. But, we’ll see if I can get back on track.

I’ll leave you with this…I found this to be particularly hilarious. I’m not even going to give it an intro other than that…just visit this site.

TRUCK!!!

Saturday started off semi-normally (except for the fact that I can’t seem to sleep past 5:30 after getting up at 3:00 all week long.) I am overall pretty well exhausted and just trying to let myself relax after a very grueling work-week. I just played around on my laptop for most of the morning knowing that I should be doing something productive but just too tired to care.

Crystal’s dad shows up to begin helping us work on getting the trim back in place (because we tore it all up when we put down the new laminate flooring). Pretty close to this juncture, Crystal reminds me that I need to take the dogs to the groomer. I don’t particularly care to pay someone to groom my dogs, but neither of us is up to doing it, so the appointment was made. I’m gathering my wits and preparing to head out and Crystal is gathering the dogs to prepare them to go out, and Crystal’s dad is hauling trim out the the back yard to begin cleaning it off and pulling the nails out. My friend calls me to let me know he’s just about ready to come paint the nursery for us…

All seemed to be going ok…

I get in the truck. I turn it on…are you ready for this? Our new (used) Mazda Tribute decided it didn’t want to leave the house yesterday. It started just fine, but when I put it in reverse, it would not move. One wheel…ONE WHEEL…would not turn. My first thought was “did I leave my laptop bag under the wheel?”

No wait…that’s what I thought LAST time…

THIS time, my first thought was “Oh no…not again!”

And, just for the record…it’s the SAME WHEEL.

I called the dealership and, long story short, they said they’d tow it in, give us a vehicle to drive until they figure out what’s going on with what they already supposedly fixed.

So…right now we have a brand new 2008 Ford Explorer with Sirius Satellite Radio and Microsoft Sync sitting right in our driveway. It’s temporary…and if it weren’t for the fact that the only reason it’s there is because our truck is in the emergency room, I might be happier about it.

But…it is what it is…

And I think we’re going to get a new license plate…

I’ll let y’all know all about that if/when we get the new plates in!

No, not really.

I got the phone call yesterday morning from the dealership. Apparently the passenger’s side airbag needed to be replaced for some reason. They he told me that there IS a safety warranty, but it’s only up to 60,000 miles. Which our truck is way past (just a little under 80,000). SOOOO, it is going to cost $265 to replace that airbag (no charge for labor) and $23 for freight and because airbags are considered hazmat, they wouldn’t be able to get it there any sooner than next Monday.

NEXT MONDAY!!!

Uncool. Very very uncool.

I got off the phone and boiled for a bit. I called the dealership and asked to speak to the sales manager who was trying to help me get through all this. He was on the phone, so I didn’t get to speak to him. I left a message to have him call me back.

A few minutes later, the service manager called me. He said “What can I do to make this right?”

I told him, “I’m not sure there is anything you can do at this point! I’m so sick and tired of this crap. You guys can’t get my truck done, you keep charging me more money. I’m not saying you’re doing anything dishonest but this is the stereotypical auto shop horror story!”

He then tells me that he’s going to see what he can do to get me a discount on the airbag. This offers me little consolation.

“Discount?? You know what? I hesitate to say this because this is NOT how I am. I DO NOT believe it trying to get things out of people for free. I am NOT about shorting you money. BUT, if I have to pay for that airbag, then forget it! Give me my truck and we’ll call it done. I’ll take my truck AND MY BUSINESS elsewhere!”

He tells me that he’ll look into it and see what he can do and call me back.

Then I ask about the sales manager. I figured that since it was the sales manager I had called for, that I ought to get to speak to him. Apparently he’s sitting across from the service manager for this call. I ask to speak to him.

I basically repeat everything I said to the service manager. I let him have it about how frustrated I am and how I just can’t fathom the fact that they put this vehicle through all kinds of tests to make sure it was safe for the road and that I haven’t even had the truck for 3 months and the airbag needs to be replaced. I exclaim how furious I am that the extended warranty I purchased since this vehicle was sold to me “as is” didn’t cover something as critical as airbags. It’s not as if the vehicle was in an accident…THEY JUST STOPPED BEING OK!

I repeated my comment about taking my truck elsewhere. I told him to figure out what he had to figure out, but that if I have to pay for the airbags then I’m done. I have absolutely had it and I would rather take my business elsewhere.

“Woah, wait a minute,” he says, “You don’t have to pay for the airbag. It’s covered by your warranty.”

I told him that’s not what the person told me earlier. I told him he’d better get his story straight because I was specifically told that it was NOT covered and that I was going to have to pay an additional $300 to get it done.

He says he’ll look into it and call me back.

Apparently, I finally got their attention.

I got a call less than 5 minutes later. The service manager called and simply said, “Your airbag is NOT covered under the warranty, but don’t worry about it. We’ll take care of it for you at no charge.”

I thank him. I apologize for getting rude and explain that I’d just been pushed beyond my limits. He says he understands and can’t blame me. He then says, “Well, I hope this doesn’t ruin our chances of doing business together again in the future.”

I told him, “To be perfectly honest with you, IT DOES! BUT because you’re taking care of me now, MAYBE there’s still a chance we’ll do business again in the future.

So, there you have it. I had to blow up at them to get their attention. It’s sad, really, because I hate being that way.

…I really don’t even want to post about it. But I’m going to because, well, I’ve come this far with the story, you may as well know the current status.

Still. No. Truck.

You read it right. In The Rock Chick’s most recent blog post “Listen Up”, Rock Chick talks about the incredible frustrations she is having with the people who won’t listen to her when it comes to her daughters battle with an eating disorder and, as was recently diagnosed, bipolar disorder. While the issue with my truck is nowhere near the magnitude of what’s going on in her life, there were two sentences in succession that, at this point in my truck story, I feel I can really relate to.

She said, “When I spoke calmly, my words were tossed aside by the supposed experts. If I yelled and screamed (because nobody seems to listen when one speaks in a calm tone), clearly I was the dominatrix of a mother trying to control every aspect about my daughter’s life.”

Ok – so I can relate to it except the part about being a dominatrix of a mother…

They say (and for the most part I truly believe) that you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. However, when I called (they did not call me!) the dealership this afternoon to find out the status on my truck, they told me that they found (surprise!) another problem. Apparently the thing they did to “clear the code” on the airbag system only cleared one code, it did not clear the other – so the light is still on.

First of all, when were they planning on telling me? Why did I have to call an hour before their service department closed in order to get this information when they had known for 3 hours already. Secondly WHY IS THIS SO FRIGGIN’ HARD???

I understand that things don’t go as expected; I understand that there are unforeseen issues that come up. I do. I really do. But they KEEP telling me that my truck will be ready “tomorrow” and it keeps getting put off and I keep having to probe to get that information. It’s RIDICULOUS.

I have been very patient so far and very calm and very collected, but they are coming dangerously close from going from “not-so-happy” Dustin to “I’d-rather-jump-off-a-sky-scraper-and-get-my-eyelid-caught-on-a-rusty-nail-than-to-piss-him-off-again” Dustin. I admit, in the privacy of my own home, I probably do not exhibit the highest levels of patience, but when I am dealing with people out in the world, I try to be as patient as I can. But these people are wearing me very thin. I even reminded them that I have been very patient up to this point and that I am trying my best to remain patient, but that my patience is running out.

They’ve had my truck for a week and a half and they can’t get it finished. I came real close to telling them just to forget the rest of it, to close the work order and give me my darn truck – that I would take my business elsewhere to get the rest of the work done and send them the bill.

*Sigh* I guess life happens sometimes. I guess I ought to feel fortunate that I can even afford to have a truck, or a roof over my head, or two dogs that are absolutely nuts. I ought to feel fortunate that I have a wife who loves me and a steady (although sometimes frustrating) job and food to eat every day. And I am thankful for all of these things. Thankful for these things and so much more…

…but this dealership is making my blood boil…

oh, and P.S. – Rock Chick, I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers!

Well, we heard from the dealership what was wrong with our truck.

Apparently the brake rotor rusted and locked. Bad mojo. To make matters worse, the front to rotors were rusted as well and were in danger of having the same happen. They needed to be resurfaced.

Ok – we agreed to have it done.

I was thinking about what on earth could have caused that to happen. We’ve only had the truck for about 3 months and out of nowhere the brakes rust up on us? What gives?

The Gulf of Mexico – that’s what!

Hurricane Ike missed us by a long shot, but we still saw a storm surge in the Gulf which resulted in some flooding on the northern edges of town. In fact, we went driving around to see what the beaches looked like and ended up driving through some of the flooding that occurred. I was so proud of our 4WD truck that wasn’t gonna get stuck in the water! (no cars were stuck in the water…)

Well anyway, after that we went home, parked the truck and left it there for about a week. (I drive a company vehicle for work and Crystal was working hard at home on her jewelry that week). As it turns out…salt water and metal don’t mix too good! I’m pretty sure that the fact that we drove through the salt water and didn’t rinse the truck off before parkin’ it was the cause of the problems.

So 3 rotors needed to be resurfaced. Oh – and we needed to have the little sensor for our airbags or something replaced because the airbag light had been coming on and staying on for about the last 2 weeks. Worst of all, none of this is covered by the warranty we purchased with our truck. All in all – it was gonna cost around $500.

Now let’s recap what we learned so far – “unlucky” license plates: bad. Salty brakes: bad. Local dealership: loses trucks and doesn’t call back: BAD!

I fear I’m going to sound like Paul Harvey…

And now for the rest of the story…

It was Monday when we found out about the actual cause of the wheel being so stubborn. They said that the truck would be ready to go Tuesday afternoon. Not so bad I guess considering all that’s happened so far.

We got on with our busy lives and realized on Thursday that they still hadn’t called. WHAT FREAKIN’ GIVES?

Thursday they tell us it’ll for sure be ready on Friday by 2:00. I have my doubts, but plan to actually show up at 2 and have a little one-on-one with the service manager about the severe lack of “service” we’d seen thus far.

Friday at 1:00 I get a call. “Mr. Braindungeon Dude, [not really what he said, in case you didn't pick up on that all by yourself], I have good news. You’re truck is almost ready.”

This doesn’t sound like good news…otherwise, why the call? I chime in, “But…?”

“Well the thing is…” and he goes on to explain that the front left router was so badly corroded that they had to “cut too deep” to be able to resurface it. It’s now too thin and must be replaced. I kinda saw this coming a mile away…I have had it happen before on another car.

He goes on to say that they can replace just the one router, but they recommend if replacing one front router, go ahead and replace both. He reassures me that they won’t be charging me any extra for labor but tells me that to replace one router will be an extra $100 and to replace both will (amazingly) be $200. A question suddenly comes to mind. I remember talking to this guy when this all began about the fact that we need an extra key. This magical key costs $50 just to purchase, but $100 to program. (Why even bother telling the price without programming…I mean seriously…???)

I want to know if that was included in the original work order, because now the dollar signs are just flashing past me like crazy and with the lack of customer service they’ve provided, I can’t stomach the thought of paying over $850 bucks for all this. Not only did he forget to work the number into the original work order, but now there’s yet another due date for our truck…MONDAY.

I calmly…coolly…but sternly say “before we talk any more about money…let’s talk about facts.” and I start pointing out every single instance where their customer service has been less than worthy of the moniker.

The conversation went on for a while and I ended up setting an appointment to actually meet with the service manager. Before I am able to get out there, I’m sharing this story with someone I work with who happens to know the General Sales Manager there. He calls him up and let’s him know what’s going on. This guy calls me back and does his best to assuage me and offer to rectify the situation by paying for a rental car for the weekend. I decline and tell him I don’t need it. I bring up the key issue and he offers to throw in the key. He asks if that would make the situation right.

I begin to think about this and say to him, “I would love to get that key and not have to pay for it, but I’m not sure that I can justifiably say that would make me a happy customer. I’m not trying to put you out of money, I’m trying to resolve a customer service situation. At this point, I’m not sure I will ever return to your service shop.”

We decide that I’m going to think it over and call him back. Ultimately, I decide that since I had a need with my truck that they did not fulfill, then fulfilling this other need I have with my truck at their expense is a fair trade. I mean, come on…$150 bucks for a key??? lol

I still wasn’t sure that I was comfortable with that. I was, after all, still not sure I was going to go back there and I didn’t want to come across like the key was “the key” to solving the situation. I decide to go and discuss it with him face-to-face before giving a final answer.

When I show up, he greets me pretty warmly. He’s not a “typical” sales guy. He’s friendly, Has an honest look to him and genuinely, and sincerely is apologetic for all that’s happened. He tells me that he’s gonna throw in the key anyway at his cost (before I get to tell him I’m going to accept it) and says that he is personally going to follow this task to completion. It can’t happen until Monday because the parts that need to be replaced need to be ordered.

We have a friendly conversation about customer service and he asks me to consider giving them another chance in the future. I tell him that I most certainly will consider it, because I feel he has done everything he can to rectify a situation that he only came into at the last minute.

So there you have it. Hopefully you’ll hear from me on Monday that we have our truck back. I haven’t sworn off the dealership (at least not yet!). And I learned a valuable lesson in chemical reactions between salt and metal.

Perhaps it will all go uphill from here…

PS – I added a feed counter to my blog – I HAVE 11 SUBSCRIBERS VIA FEED! Check it out in the upper right hand corner. I can now officially stop using the “(s?)” when I refer to my readers!

PPS – James really can read…so he says…

“Lost” is one of my favorite TV shows. Just the word “Lost” however, is NOT one of my favorite words.

In case you haven’t already read my post about what happened with our new (used) truck, you might want to read that first.

Ok, so to follow up: The tow truck had gotten to our house in the afternoon. I thought about calling the dealership right around 6:30 or so to see if they’d taken a look at it yet. By then it would have been there for at least a couple of hours and there was a distinct possibility they’d have had time to run the diagnostics on it. I decided, however, that because it WAS toward the end of the day, I’d give them til the next morning before calling.

Well, shortly after I posted yesterday, I called the dealership to see what the status was. I was a *little* perturbed when they couldn’t seem to find me in the system. I explained the situation to them about my truck getting towed to them for diagnostics. They put me on hold. I waited. For a long time. I was now growing more irritated. Ten minutes on hold without so much as a “we’re still looking” is quite frustrating.

Someone came back on the line “Service, who are you holding for?” I explained AGAIN the situation. I got put on hold AGAIN. This time for not as long tho…someone else picked up the phone and said “Service, who are you holding for?” I, once more, explained the situation and was put on hold AGAIN. Very shortly afterward (we’re at a total of 15 minutes on the phone now) someone picks up and said “Hello, sir?” I had muted the phone at this point because I was talking to my wife about heading over there. In the amount of time it took for me to hit the unmute button, the guy hung up.

Ok, now I’m pissed.

I call back. I explain that I got disconnected. I got put on hold again. CRAP! Oh wait, no, they came back more quickly this time…

“We’re still waiting for your truck. It hasn’t arrived yet.”

WHAT???

Ok. Not cool. I tell them that’s not possible. I explain the timing and how it should have been there for at least a couple of hours yesterday. Nope. They explained that when they closed up shop at 7:00pm the night before, it had not arrived.

Ok, now I’m BEYOND furious.

I call my wife. I ask for the number to our insurance company (who provided the tow truck in the first place). She tells me she has the number for the wrecker company responsible for towing the car. I gladly accept the number and mutter something about someone losing their job and threatening jail time.

Now I call the wrecker company and in a not-so-nice voice, but not the “irate customer” many dread, I explain that I had my truck towed and the dealership claims they never received it. I am given yet ANOTHER number. This guy is apparently the one who was in charge when my truck was towed.

I call him. I’m a little less kind than the previous call, but still maintaining at least a modicum of composure. I explain the situation and his initial reaction is that the dealership it was towed to is pretty bad (nation-wide) about receiving vehicles towed in, but never recording that they received them. He says he’ll call the dealership.

I get a call from the wrecker guy, he says (really…his words) that they performed a “miracle” and “magically” made my truck appear. I can understand his sarcasm since he apparently has problems with this dealership a lot, but it was not appreciated in my mood. Whatever…I tell him thanks.

I get a call from the dealership. “Good news! We found your truck. The work order WAS in the system. Everything WAS done right. The wrecker guy gave the keys to the wrong person. I couldn’t find your truck on our lot because it was already in the shop!”

Bull. Whatever. I don’t care, just diagnose the problem and call me back with a solution. Of course, that’s not what I said…I thanked them and asked when I should know something. They indicate that it shouldn’t be long.

Well, it WAS long. I called 3 hours or so later and they still didn’t know anything. I said “So the diagnostic still isn’t finished?” He said “I’m not saying that…it’s just not ready. It’s not in the computer yet.” Right…and asking the technician who was looking at it is just too hard. I asked when they close. Four o’clock. Good. So I should at least know something in the next 2 hours. NOT. They never called and I was wrapped up in something at that particular moment in time (4:00) so I didn’t get a chance to call them back to find out what the heck was going on with my truck.

So…my loyal reader(s?) – I don’t know as of this moment why the rear wheel on our new (used) truck won’t turn. I may also swear off this dealership. I have been known to completely and utterly avoid companies that give me service that I consider less than adequate.

Oh well. I guess it’ll eventually work out. But – I thought maybe you’d be interested to know that the saga continues.

This has been one heck of a week. Just about every day ended with me in a terrible mood for some reason or another. There were a couple of moments that all seemed ok with the world.

…for the world around me…for the human race…for my sanity.

I encounter a fair amount of stupidity on a pretty regular basis. Normally I try to level my opinion of stupid by telling myself that ignorance does not equal stupidity. If someone truly doesn’t know something that I know, that does not, in and of itself, make them stupid. It may still seem funny, but stupid it is not.

But not always.

I did, however, get to witness some evidence that there are incredibly stupid people out there. It is for this reason that I live in fear for what our world may become. These people breed. These people pass their genes on to offspring to continue a legacy of intellectual destitution.

We had a situation develop at work this week where somehow, some way, an employee got ahold of, and cashed, another employee’s paycheck. Let’s just ignore the level of incompetence that it would take on the part of a manager that allowed this to happen (managers pass out the paychecks!). Here are the facts. The person who picked up their co-worker’s check has the same last name. The person who stole their co-worker’s check has a very similar first name. So similar, in fact, that there is a possibility that an unknowing person could have thought that the first name on the check was just misspelled. One’s name was Maria and the other was Maira.

It’s not as if these employees got each others’ checks accidentally and one cashed the check before it was caught. Not that simple. One employee ended up with BOTH checks. I dare not guess how this actually happened. She at least thought far enough ahead to cash the checks at two different places. She even thought far enough ahead to have someone else sign one of the checks (at least, judging by the handwriting, it appeared that way.)

So far we have seen crafty deceitfulness. Enter stupidity.

At the check cashing place where she cashed the incorrect check, they asked her for her driver’s license number and date of birth. I am actually trying to decide if I think she was just stupid enough to give her actual information or if she panicked and decided it was too late to try to be any more slick (what, no pre-planned fake ID?)…but she did…she gave her ACTUAL driver’s license number and date of birth.

Well, a couple of days later the girl who did not get her check asked her manager about it and they called the office wanting to know WHY this gal did not get her check. We explain that it was sent. They explain that it’s not in the distribution envelope. We look up the check number to verify that it hasn’t cleared the bank…guess what…it has. Both have. It was a matter of minutes before we were able to isolate not only that the wrong employee got the check, but that she had done so intentionally. She stole the money and tried to get away with keeping it only to be tracked down by her identification that we are required to collect in order to allow employment.

So there you have it. A perfect example of why someone may one day walk over to my cubicle and find that I have actually smashed my head into my monitor.

I just learned something about blogger. After typing in your title, if you hit “Enter,” blogger will post your title and close the editor. Good to know. I normally hit the “Tab” key, but for some reason I hit “Enter” and learned something new.

So…why have I been so quiet? I spent a week in a city about 3 hours away from home helping to put the technological touches on another one of our restaurants. It.Was.CRAZY. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something develop so quickly! If you would have asked me on Sunday if we would be opening on Friday, I would have said, “Are you crazy?” And if you had in turn asked me at midnight on Thursday night if we were opening on Friday morning, I would have said, “There’s just no way!” But…the persistence of those who employ me and the hard work of everyone involved had us opening those doors the next morning. INCREDIBLE!

I also had a little mini revelation while staying in the hotel down there. There is just NO recovering from a cold blast of water coming out of the shower-head as you turn on the water when you’re EXPECTING the water to come from the faucet. NO RECOVERING. You can turn the water on as hot as you can tolerate it, but you will still feel as though your bloodstream is now suitable for the filming of “March of the Penguins 2.” I am still shivering, and this was well over a week ago.

So I had an interesting conversation with a friend a few days ago. If you haven’t yet read about the pink jeep, it would be a good precursor to what you are about to learn.

My friend called me up to tell me that he actually pulled up next to the pink jeep at a traffic light. I was going to say “stop light” but that’s not entirely accurate as part of the time it’s a “go light”. Anyway, he said that he was able to see the driver of this vehicle. Now, I am sorry to stereotype, but I imagined that the driver of this…aberration…could likely be a young blonde female who was full of herself and just didn’t care that she was making a mockery out of jeep owners EVERYWHERE by choosing to adorn her vehicle in such a shade. In my mind it very easily could have been a Paris Hilton type – with attitude and everything…and of course her excuse would be that it’s CUUUUUUUUUUTE. Well – IT’S NOT CUUUUUUUUUUTE! It’s PUUUUUUUUUUKE!

Anyway, so when he tells me that he has seen the driver of said abomination I suddenly doubt that it is going to be what I might expect because, let’s face it, otherwise this conversation would not be noteworthy. So I said to him, “Please tell me it’s at LEAST a girl!” He does not. He does not even just tell me what the driver looked like, but posed his statement in the form of a question.

“What if I told you that the driver was a completely bald man in his 30s with arms covered in tattoos?”

…

Paris Hilton, if by chance you happen to read my blog some day, I apologize for making an assumption that involved a likeness of you. But would you do me the favor of PAYING THIS MAN WHATEVER IT TAKES TO REMOVE THIS VEHICLE FROM HIS POSSESSION???

Ok, now I have to admit, I did not see the driver, nor did I really take the time to listen to see if he might describe in better detail what this driver looked like so now I have a different image in my head. A big, scruff, biker-type dude with a handlebar mustache and a tattoo on his shoulder that has “Mom” in a big ol’ heart that he uses as an excuse to pound the life out of someone, should they choose to mock him. Now this vision can go one of two ways. This big, tough, killing-machine of a man could be secretly dainty…picking daffodils and wishing he had hair to adorn with said flowers. OR he could also use the JEEP as a means of providing him with a reason to expose a mocker’s innards to the whole world.

I have to say…I don’t know what to feel.

But…I will close with this. My friend called with a different reason entirely. Sure he brought further shame on the idea of a pink jeep, but he also called me to vent about his frustrations regarding a recent database upgrade the company he works for just experienced. To keep it short, he explained that the ONLY person tasked to work with the main office (in another state) was an 87-year-old woman who “does not know how to spell ‘PC’ and if you ask her a technical question, she will cry!”

Perhaps you had to be there, but I found that HILARIOUS.

NEVER shop at ANTonline.com

After posting about my Best Buy experience yesterday, I felt obligated to finish telling the story about the business I reported to the BBB…so here it is:

Up until recently, I was a faithful buyer of twice. They had reasonable prices, fast turn around…holy cow, it was AWESOME!

Until…

I placed an order for the two restaurant locations that we’re working on building. This time it was for surveillance system equipment. I needed some cameras and some power supplies for said cameras. Placed the order, paid for it, got an order confirmation, everything was hunky-dory.

Then I got a call. Michelle wanted to verify my order and I needed to call her back at a number she provided. So I did. And I reached a voicemail mailbox that did not identify who I was calling but only said “extension 1-1-2 is not available” and instructed me either press 9 to exit voicemail or wait to leave a message. Well…considering this is a BUSINESS – you would think that someone else could either help me or point me to someone ELSE who could help me. Not only that, but I had no indicator that I even dialed ANTonline…this could be a scam. I dialed 9.

Ok…so the number was legit, because I then entered the auto-attendant for ANTonline.com and listened to the choices and finally selected the option for customer service. I explained that I had placed an order, that according to their website, my order had left the warehouse and was sitting at the shipping hub. I also explained that Michelle had left me a message saying she needed to verify something on my order and wondered if there was someone else who could help me because she was not available.

Apparently, ineptitude runs deep at ANTonline.com because the person I was talking to not only did not know who Michelle was, but could not tell me ANYTHING about my order that I didn’t already know. She could not transfer me to anyone who knew anything about my order that I didn’t already know because they can’t do that.

WHAT???

She tells me that her recommendation is to call Michelle’s number again and see if Michelle can give me any information about my order to prove that she was indeed from ANTonline.com. I told her that the same number I used to try to reach Michelle was the same number that I used to reach her.

“Oh”

I think she used her brain-cell (singular) quota for the day.

So I called Michelle again…got the same irritating voicemail mailbox…but I left a message this time with my cell phone number (she had called my desk phone the first time and I was out of the office) and asked her to call me back.

No calls. I called a few additional times throughout the day to see if I could get through. No luck.

I get an email a day or two later that says “My name is Michelle and I’ve been trying to reach you.” as if she tried more than once. She told me I needed to call her right away on the same phone number she left on my voicemail. The email came from support@antonline.com so I figured a response to the email would be fruitless, but I responded anyway. I explained that I had already tried calling her SEVERAL times and that I had even left a message with my cell number. I left my cell number in the email and sent it off. I then attempted to call AGAIN. No luck.

A few minutes later I got a response! It was an AUTORESPONSE! It said, “Thank you for contacting customer support at antonline.com. Please accept this email as acknowledgment of your support inquiry.” It went on to tell me how I can track orders and all kinds of other CRAP. I couldn’t BELIEVE that they sent an autoresponse like that to a REPLY on an email that THEY SENT! I contemplated trying to use telekinesis to force every person involved so far to smash their shin up against something hard and painful or force them to pour vinegar in their eyes…but unfortunately I have not yet mastered the art of telekinesis.

This went on for a few days and I was starting to get irritated that they hadn’t shipped my order yet. Especially since I couldn’t answer whatever question they had because they were not reachable. I had, in the past few days, talked to a few more inept ANTonline call center idiots who all told me the same thing. They couldn’t transfer me, they couldn’t answer my questions, they didn’t know what Michelle needed to ask. They offer to submit a support ticket to see what the delay is and I tell them that the problem is their support team is non-responsive and I’m tired of waiting for them to call me back.

By this point I was pretty irritated and talking not-so-nicely to the people at the call center. My assistant chimes in and offers to call in like he has no idea what’s going on to see if he can find out the status of the order. He does and they tell him the same status that’s on their website (because they are probably using the same interface as we are to find the status) and say that they can submit a support ticket to see what the delay is. He allows them to do so.

I get an email a few hours later. It says nothing more than “This order cannot be processed and has been refunded.”

That’s it. Verbatim. No explanation. No apology. NOTHING.

I call in AGAIN. This time I have a bright idea. Instead of going through customer service, I go through sales. I get someone who sounds more intelligent (probably because they care about selling to people…just not supporting them). This guy looks up my order, explains to me that Michelle works in accounting and wanted to verify information on my credit card (that they had charged before she ever called me), but that she had already found what she needed.

Great! SO WHY WAS MY ORDER CANCELLED??????

Apparently the item was out of stock. I pull up their website which conveniently shows how many are in stock. I ordered 16 cameras. At the time of order there were 31 in stock. Now there are showing 24 in stock. Just in case my mental math fails me on that, I check with a calculator…yep…24 minus 16 really does equal 8…there should still be a surplus of 8 cameras. Trying to be polite so that I don’t make matters worse at this point I calmly ask, “So when do you think you WILL be able to fill my order?”

I kid you not. He said, “look, we have seven warehouses nation-wide so unless we just get a massive shipment of these cameras, we’ll never be able to fill your order.”

It took everything I had not to convert myself into an electric signal and force myself through the phone lines so I could jump out of his phone or headset and strangle him with the cord.

You would think that with seven warehouses, they could CONSOLIDATE and get me my order…that is, after all, what you do when you’re in business to MAKE MONEY.

Not according to this salesman. I told him I wanted a manager or supervisor to call me and he said “no one is going to be able to do anything for you” and basically ended the call there. I replied to the vague “your order has been refunded” email and demanded that someone call me. I also went onto their website and submitted a support request explaining the situation and asked that someone call me.

I get an email a few hours later that says (paraphrased),

“Our Texas warehouse is misreporting on the website. We have reported it to our support team. We are sorry for any confusion but no amount of phone calls or emails will change this until we have more stock.” That last sentence is word-for-word. On top of being inept, now they turn to being antagonistic.

I reported them to the Better Business Bureau and said that it was unacceptable that they were willing to charge over $800 to my credit card immediately but that they were not willing to talk to me about what happened. I was upset because their customer service was extremely poor and there was not one single returned phone call.

Their response? The forwarded the antagonistic email. The BBB asked if I accepted their response. I very verbosely explained to them WHY I did not accept that response. ANTonline responded again by saying that the credit card was refunded.

I was too busy to respond again in the few days it took before the BBB closed the case. But you know what…it’s not worth my time anymore. I’ll just post this blog and hopefully people doing a search for ANTonline or ANTonline sucks or ANTonline reviews will stumble upon my blog and learn just what a miserable company they really are.

But I don’t hold a grudge! PPPFFFFFFFTTTT.